Re-Discovering Biblical Manhood
Dec 01, 2013
The full version of this teaching was released between December 2013 and Febuary 2014 in audio format on the Word of Power Podcast in iTunes and Stitcher. Listen for free there or download the full 9-part teaching on MP3 from the Online Store.
The pillars of society are crumbling. Every facet of society from the global market the family has been shaken because of males who do not understand Godly manhood. God designed the male to be the foundation of society. Historically, males and females have defined manhood and womanhood by their roles. For thousands of years these roles never overlapped but now in modern and postmodern society women and men’s roles converge leaving the old identities behind. Masculinity has become twisted because men have lost their identity and purpose.
If we plan to become a godly men we must learn the purpose of a man. The purpose of something determines its nature, design, and features. Without knowledge of purpose, abuse is inevitable. The world needs godly men in every arena of life. But before males can learn how to operate as godly men in the workplace, or at home as a husband and father, they must learn the purpose of their existence, the qualities of a mature man, and the roles males are to play.
The purpose of a man and the purpose of a male are completely different. Man was created by God as a spirit. When God created man there was no distinction between male and female. Spirits don’t have a gender. God created man in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). God’s image is a spirit. Only later did God find that he had nobody to till the ground (Genesis 2:5). Then He needed a male. So He created a container out of dirt and put man (the spirit) in that container. There were 2 types of containers—male containers and female containers. God made the male (container) first, before the female. Sometimes we can confuse the male with the real man, but in reality they are both different and they both have different purposes.
First the man’s purpose. Man (speaking here of both the male and female spirit) was created to be God’s offspring, to have fellowship with Him, to manifest His nature, to share His rule, to expand the family business, to rely on the Father for personal needing kingdom needs, and to execute God’s righteous judgment. When a man—either male or female operates in the fullness of those aspects; he fulfill the purposes for which his spirit man was created.
But God didn’t stop there, He created both male and female—the same yet distinct and complementary in purpose. He wanted man to fulfill two distinct purposes on the physical earth. Male was made to serve the needs of man on earth and enable him to fulfill his purpose. Because he is to be the foundation of the human family, he is positioned to remain constantly in God’s presence so he can function in God’s purposes. The male’s assignment includes six specific purposes he is meant to fulfill: visionary, leader, teacher, cultivator, provider, and protector. The male has been physically, mentally, and emotionally equipped to carry out all six of the purposes of function he has been assigned.
Clearly man has a unique purpose above all other creation, but there are stages before one becomes a mature man. Many males have not yet become true men, there is a difference between a godly man and just a male. A big part of being a true man is being born again. Hebrews 12:8 says if we are not received by God (verse 6–not born again and become God’s son) then that person is a bastard. Those aren’t my words they are God’s. You are an illegitimate offspring without God. Without God you are like any other male. So if Jesus is your Lord, and you are baptized and spirit filled, you can be well on your way to becoming a godly man.
Most people would agree if I said there is a line of dividing between a boy and a grown-up male, but what might be more controversial is when that change in title takes place. I’ll tell you it has nothing to do with age or physical capability. The change begins to take place when the young man grasps his God-given purpose. The young man must go to the creator not the created to learn his purpose. This infers that he must have a relationship with God through his son Jesus Christ. Therefore eliminating him as a bastard. The young man must have fruits of obedience, holiness, integrity, love, humility, gentleness, and self-control just to name a few. He should understand the roles of females and how to respect, cherish, and love them. He should be a disciplined worker, able to be his own teacher and be an independent catalyst for change in his life. As daunting as this list may seem—it becomes natural after the individual is saved and under the tutelage of the Holy Spirit.
There can be no godly men without godly character. Mankind should still display the image of God by copying the way God is (Rom 8:29). We find God through Jesus and we know Jesus through the Word (John 14:6-10; 1:14). Before men can display godly character with the opposite sex, they must be 100% complete. 100% complete means walking in God-given purpose.
All these purposes for the male were given to him by God before the creation of the female. But even a man who knows his purpose is not complete according to God (Genesis 2:18). The male needs a companion, someone to be his helper—not as a subordinate or a sidekick, but as an equal partner with a complementary purpose. Since the man now has a physical body he now needs someone to share his life with on earth. Genesis 2:20 says no helper suitable was found: so God created female.
The method God used to create the female is significant to understanding the relationship between male and female. Genesis 2:21–22 says God drew the woman out of the man and “made” her. This is a different word then the word “formed” used for the male for the male. When God was done, the woman was made just like the man. She was and still is the man’s perfect complement. She is the receiver and he is the giver—together they can fulfill the mandate to dominate and fill the earth.
Now, Adam did not go looking for a wife. She was God’s idea for him. Adam was so busy doing what God had told him to do that he didn’t even know he needed a woman. That’s still how it should be today males should not go finding a mate God will prepare a mate for them. When males begin to look for a spouse it poses a problem. It is the reason many people marry spouses who are not right. The problem is they haven’t learned what it means to be a whole person. A marriage is not 50/50 with each spouse coming together to make 100. A marriage is 100/100 — two whole people who know their purpose and seek God, not a mate. Often those who say I don’t need a wife are the men who are really ready for one.
When marriages operate in this way, being arranged by God, they are more committed. If you never found your spouse in your power in the first place you cannot leave her in your power. This is God’s match—not your own.
Marriage is a sacred covenant—and covenants are not to be broken—in fact, marriage is a miracle. It is a merging of two souls into one: “the two shall become one” (Mark 10:8). Actually man cannot break or annul the miracle of marriage (even by divorce), their souls are still one. Only by the death of one spouse or ex-spouse can the person be truly free to marry another. This is why Jesus spoke the way he did about divorce and remarriage, unless your spouse dies you commit adultery if you marry another.
Men and women have perfectly complementary designs. When men and women don’t appreciate their differences they will experience conflict. When they value each other’s purposes, they can have rewarding relationships and blend their unique designs harmoniously for God’s glory. Until the male recognizes the strengths God has placed within the female he will be weak in those areas, because she is designated to supply what he lacks. To understand each other strengths it is first necessary to learn their unique needs. The primary needs of males are respect, recreational companionship, and sex. The primary needs of females are love, conversation, and affection. These needs are fulfilled reciprocally one with another. Respect with love, companionship with conversation, sex with affection.
To dominate the earth not dominate one another God has planned for the individual strengths of men and women to combine to produce exponential results. The results of the fall included mankind’s broken relationship with God and spiritual death, the loss of the balanced relationships between men and women, and the loss of humanity’s true dominion over the world. Despite the fall, God’s purposes for male and female never changed. Through the Redeemer Jesus Christ, these broken relationships can be restored. Because men have an innate desire to prove themselves strong, this has become distorted through sin so that they end up misdirecting their power and authority. A man needs to be a leader by following Jesus’ example—by loving, guiding, and inspiring those under his authority, not by demanding that they should do what he says. Men and women are equal they are both the same in spirit and in importance.
In Hebrew culture the naming of something has a very important meaning. Whoever names something is claiming their responsibility for that thing. Adam named Eve. Through that, Adam was declaring that he was taking the headship and responsibility for the woman. Still today it is the male’s job to guard, cherish, protect, and defend females whether they are your family members or not (of course wife and daughters first).
Never before in the history of the world have we been as much in need of good fathers as we are now. When God created the male and gave him dominion assignments included the responsibility of cultivating and protecting his offspring. Merely having a child is no guarantee that you are a real man or a real father, the males who think that do not know the meaning of being a covering, protection, and role model for their children.
There is tremendous calling for males to become men of God but the task not only involves changing our own perspectives but also those of our children God has always been very specific in His Word about the responsibilities of a father. This role is of particular importance to Him because, fathers are representatives of God to their children. When men look to Him, they can fulfill their responsibilities in the meaningful reflections of the fatherhood of God to their children. What then, does it mean to be a good father?
A man won’t be able to understand what it means to be a good father if he doesn’t know his Heavenly Father. Hopefully men already have a relationship with their Heavenly Father before they even get married, but being saved doesn’t mean you understand God as father. The greatest heritage a man can leave to his sons and daughters is, I believe, not money or property but faith. Faith in God to never fail and with faith the child can obtain a house, or wealth, because she has been taught to trust God as her provider.
The second most important thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. Mainly fathers will buy gifts for their children, when what their children really want and need most is to see their fathers truly love their mothers. I think there is nothing more precious than for a child to see his parents in love. Many men don’t realize that the way they treat their wife not only can affect how the children see them, but also how God views them. If a husband doesn’t treat his wife with respect his own prayers will be hindered (I Peter 3:7).
Some parents think love is merely providing their children with clothes, food, and shelter. Yet anyone with common sense a little bit of conscience would do that. Love is not buying gifts either. Love is you being the gift. Just as John 3:16 says God loved by sending Jesus—therefore if a man is really a father he won’t send gifts he’ll send himself. Love is being there, correcting, setting a standard, yes, even during the tough times.
Unfortunately with the popularity of “children’s rights,” many have been deceived into thinking every person should take total responsibility for himself or herself, no matter how young. This philosophy teaches that parents can’t spank their children as a disciplinary measure. What the world is saying is that children should be allowed to bring themselves up. This is foolish. Both parents have a responsibility before God to raise their children. Who is raising your children? The answer should be you. Not daycare or school. You must make time for them. They are not on your to-do list or an obstacle to clear out of the way. They should be the top priority after your wife.
Another thing a good father does is instructs and teaches his children. A father needs to read and study the Word of God so he can teach it to his children. He must know the commands of God. It is impossible to teach something you haven’t learned yourself. In Genesis 18:18–19 God made a promise to Abraham and added that the fulfillment of that promise was connected to Abraham’s teaching his family the Word of God. Deuteronomy 6:7–9 instructs men to teach his family God’s commands in these ways: 1) when you sit at home. 2) when you walk along the road, 3) when you lie down, 4) when you get up, and 5) by tying them as symbols on your hands, binding them on your foreheads, and writing them on the doorframes of your house and gate. That covers everywhere, all the time!
A good father disciplines his children - Proverbs 22:6. You give hope to your child when you discipline and correct him. You give him or her a value system for their entire life; the Scripture says if you don’t do this you are a party to your child’s death - Proverbs 19:18. When you train up a child you are conditioning them for what lies ahead. What children get taught by their parents never leave them.
Children need encouragement, especially from their fathers. See your child’s intention rather than the result. Instead of criticizing, encourage—if the dishes are still spotty after your 8-year-old “washed” them encouraged him and point out the good. Don’t criticize the underdeveloped.
While there are many aspects of the godly father these are the most important few. Along with comfort and warning you can be the man that represents Jehovah, Yahweh God to your children, wife, coworkers, and friends.
Nathaniel Spiers is a minister, business owner, and eternal student of the Word of God. He has been called as a teacher to the Body of Christ around the world. His commission is to prepare the church to be the bride Jesus deserves. He is passionate about seeing Christians become Believers and Males become Men.